It’s Not A Cult, I Swear 4

I’m on Facebook, scrolling idly through my newsfeed. I see a derby friend has posted photos from practice, so of course I click to look. One of her friends is looking too and leaves a comment saying “this looks fun!” And then, like a lion pouncing on its prey, my entire league is there, swarming the comment section.

“It’s so much fun!”

“You should try it!”

“Derby is the best!”

“Fresh meat starts in April!”

The recruit is friendly, but brushes us off. “Oh, I’m too old for that! <smiley face>”

We double down.

“No one is too old for derby!”

“I’m 43!”

“I’m 49!”

“I know a 70 year old who plays!”

“Join us!”



The recruit disappears into the ether and, one by one, my league returns from the fugue state we’ve found ourselves in. “Oops,” we laugh, “scared her away!”

If you’re one of the people we’ve turned off by our relentless enthusiasm, we apologize. We just really love derby and we know you’d love it too. Because it’s amazing.

So if we promise to tone down our aggression just a little, would you think about joining us? (Join us!) It’s not a cult, I swear. It’s just roller derby. (JOIN US!) And it’ll change your life. (JOINNNNN USSSSS)


Leave a Reply to Kat Smashley Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 thoughts on “It’s Not A Cult, I Swear

  • Reply
    Janeen malinn

    Hi! I am definitely interested in joining, but I’m not sure if it is too much of a commitment with my schedule… how often are the sessions/practices/meets/training (whatever it’s called!)? I have been eyeing some posts for a while now with the plan “when I get my taxes back”…. well, taxes are a-coming, and I really do want to join! So basically, what does this all entail?



    • Reply
      Kat Smashley Post author

      Hi, Janeen! We’re so excited you’re interested in joining us! Our fresh meat boot camp (which will begin in April) meets twice a week: Sundays from 3-5 pm and Wednesdays from 8-10 pm. Once you level up to the point where you’re ready to be drafted to a team, you have some options. Our B-Team is a little more low-key, and meets twice a week (Sundays 5-8 pm and Tuesdays 8-10). Our A-Team travels more for games (on weekends) and practices three times a week (Sundays 5-8, Tuesdays 8-10, Thursdays 8-10). The monthly dues are $40. If you have any other questions, we can be reached by Facebook Messenger on the WoRD page, or you can email us at We will be posting Meet and Greet dates for Fresh Meat as it gets closer, so keep an eye on our Facebook page! – Kat Smash

  • Reply

    Was looking for info in possibly joining. I read the fresh meat camp was in April does this happen again?

    • Reply
      Kat Smash Post author

      Hi, Kim! Our next fresh meat program will begin in September, exact date to be determined. Until then, if you’d like to see some roller derby, we have a home game coming up at Horgan Arena in Auburn, MA on July 8th! – kat smash