I’m on Facebook, scrolling idly through my newsfeed. I see a derby friend has posted photos from practice, so of course I click to look. One of her friends is looking too and leaves a comment saying “this looks fun!” And then, like a lion pouncing on its prey, my entire league is there, swarming the comment section.
“It’s so much fun!”
“You should try it!”
“Derby is the best!”
“Fresh meat starts in April!”
The recruit is friendly, but brushes us off. “Oh, I’m too old for that! <smiley face>”
We double down.
“No one is too old for derby!”
“I know a 70 year old who plays!”
The recruit disappears into the ether and, one by one, my league returns from the fugue state we’ve found ourselves in. “Oops,” we laugh, “scared her away!”
If you’re one of the people we’ve turned off by our relentless enthusiasm, we apologize. We just really love derby and we know you’d love it too. Because it’s amazing.
So if we promise to tone down our aggression just a little, would you think about joining us? (Join us!) It’s not a cult, I swear. It’s just roller derby. (JOIN US!) And it’ll change your life. (JOINNNNN USSSSS)